I made a decision recently: to not take any pics from my cameraphone. In fact, to not take any more pictures at all. Of course, this is just a temporary choice. Something just for now.

I have always imagined having some photography skills; maybe it’s even true for all I know. For a time, I imagined capturing everything I saw on film. Never the people though—I have never liked taking pictured of people I know. Having my picture taken is something I like even less. Anyways, I had always felt that the only thing keeping me from being a decent photographer was lack of decent equipment.

Then we got a nice old-school manual SLR. And I didn’t really like taking pictures anymore.

I guess I had the absurd notion that showing other people how I look at the world would somehow make things ‘right’.

Photography is voyeuristic. I think looking through the lens somehow makes it easier to objectify the world. I sometimes feel that it’s just another way to avoid really looking at what’s out there.

When I want distractions from the real world, I read. Fiction is a more honest retreat. With photography you can at least pretend you’re doing something real: with fiction you can’t.

Well, none of that makes any sense. Not even to myself. I guess now that I have gone out on a limb, and announced my not-so-rational stand, I’ll soon go and contradict myself. Wait for it.